Back to School

This is my first year sending 2 kids out to school in the morning. It's been an interesting adjustment. High lights from our first week include:
Lucille puking the night before her first day of school.
Getting a call from the nurse the second day of school. Lennon makes a face constantly where he closes just one eye and holds this wink for a minute or so. His teachers interpreted this to mean his eye hurt!
The fifth day Lucille came home sick with a headache and slept from 2:50 pm - 6:30 am. Of course she woke several times, too much in pain to do anything and just wanting to be snuggled back to sleep.
A good preview for the next several germy months....
Lucille seems to like kindergarten but from the notes they send home it seems like so much more work!! She likes learning though, so I'm hopeful it'll be a good year. She has 3 friends from her pre school class in her new class, one who sits right next to her, which she was thrilled about. Also one of her friends from dance class is in kindergarten with her.
She claimed not to like her teacher but I think she's just really missing her preschool teacher. Lennon now has the teacher she had last year and I don't know if that's good for her, because she can still see her occasionally through her brother and hear about her every day... Or if it's bad because she's jealous her brother gets to go off to the classroom and teacher she currently prefers every day. The last 2 days she's come home from school with a small prize for nice behavior and I think these prizes have made her feel more favorable about her teacher finally.
Tomorrow we are going to a birthday party for a girl in her class. I'm not sure Lucille even knows which girl it is who's having the party. But she wants to go and I figured it could only help her make friends to see some of them outside of school.
Overall, she's adjusting quicker than I expected, and I expected a quick adjustment since she's our social butterfly. This weekend we are working on learning to tie shoes. When everyone in the class knows how to tie shoes they get a pizza party.
Lennon is feeling very conflicted in his new role as student. He knows his teachers well because they were Lucille 's teachers. He loves them. He enjoys the activities they do: painting, coloring, playing outside, reading, etc. He says all the kids in his class are nice. But, he misses me very badly. And I think he's also overwhelmed by all the noise and the crowd.
He asked me why I signed him up for school and I told him I thought he'd have fun. He told me he doesn't have fun and asked me to "sign him out", which to a 4 year old is the natural opposite of signing up.
He also excitedly tells me about books they've read, songs they listened to, tells me things he wants to do at school the next day. Sunday he had me put green wax in his hair and when he found out the bath would wash it out and his teacher wouldn't see it he made me take a picture and send it to her.I
Thursday I let him skip. All Wednesday evening he just cried about wanting to stay home with me. Now he says he wants more days off sometimes. But not music days. Or art days. Or library days. Every day he has one of those specials so... Looks like he won't be getting any more days off.... I do hope I can get him to focus more on all the fun he is having and not the missing me. I think we're headed in the right direction. The moments when he is upset and fighting going are some of my toughest mom moment though. Particularly because it's pre scholars it's not required, so why force him?? If I genuinely believed he didn't like it, I wouldn't. But he does like it...
I'm very lucky to have gotten the opportunity to eat lunch with the kids twice. My mom stayed with Truman one day and Peter had a couple flex hours to use up at work so stayed with him the other time. Lennon wants me to eat lunch with him every day. I'm trying to make it a weekly event but with Truman, it's be impossible to do more.
I enjoyed going to lunch and getting to know some of their new friends. Their principal wants to get some sort of walking program started where parents volunteer to walk the track with kids at the end of lunch or something.... I don't really know many details. But he assured me Truman could come and would enjoy it, so that might be something I do at the school in the future.

Books That Have Managed to Hold My Attention in my Current State of Chronic Sleep Deprivation

Still spending hours a day nursing Truman or allowing him to nap on me, I've recently stopped mindlessly scrolling social media and have spent that time reading. I've missed reading for fun. I think I got discouraged by reading as I was attempting to read Steinbeck, per my husband's suggestion. And I do agree with him that Steinbeck is a phenomenal author but on 2 hours of sleep a night... Not so much! I currently am seeking easy, somewhat jovial reading. But I also have a low tolerance for books that are just fluff from authors who publish 5 books a year. You know the kind, read like a romcom starring Katherine Heigl. Here are some I've found recently that bridge that gap nicely.

The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey. Part forklore, part snapshot of Alaskan life; this book sucked me in it's very first pages. Mabel is introduced as such a perfect characterization of quiet depression and I felt her sadness immediately. Throughout the book I continued to be overwhelmed by the many emotions. Ivey's descriptions transported me so I felt I was living on Jack and Mabel's Alaskan homestead, I could see the sights, smell the smells and feel the weather as I tuned the pages. I can't wait to read more from Ivey.

Sourdough by Robin Sloan. This was an extremely easy read that was just strange enough to hold my interest. A good story about finding your passion and yourself in the most unlikely of places... Admittedly I was disappointed in the ending. I wanted a different moral of the story... Perhaps that was too much to hope for such a light-hearted tale. I won't say anything more for fear of spoiling the story. But if you read it I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud and the Last Trial of Harper Lee by Casey Cep. Cep is a writer I will have to keep an eye on. This was her first book but she sleighed it. I'd describe her style as friendly text book. This book is really 3 stories in one:

1. The story of a Reverend who is believed to have murdered several family members to collect insurance money.
2. The court proceedings for the man who killed the aforementioned Reverend.
3. Harper Lee's coverage of the trial with a brief biography of her life before and after.

Cep presents the facts in a professional tone, guiding the reader to draw their own conclusions. It was a very enjoyable read. 

My Antonia by Willa Cather. I've heard several people go on and on about Willa Cather but I've never actually read anything of hers until now. I enjoyed her somewhat romanticized glimpse of frontier life. The characters all seem a bit cliche now, but seeing as it was written over 100 years ago, that's to be expected. Overall, it was a nice feel good tale about days gone by. I'll probably read more from Cather again but she's not at the top of my current list.

The Farm by Joanne Ramos. This book packed a big punch for a quick read. This novel is fiction but is actually a pretty accurate glimpse of our current society. Immigration, wage inequality, education, parenting... All themes tied together in the stories of Jane, Mae, Reagan and Ate. 

There There by Tommy Orange. Another first time author that impressed me. There There follows the lives of Native Americans living in or traveling to modern day Oakland, California. A good look at their current culture and sense of community, or for some lack of. Each character struggles with his own personal dilemnas as well as identity issues surrounding their heritage. Definitely worth a read! 

Life Right Now

Life has been so busy but so beautiful lately. I'm not going to pretend it's been constant laughs and smiles. We have our moments of frustration and tears. But overall the kids are all at really fun, loving and hilarious stages. Every day they do something that has me laughing. And it makes my heart sad knowing in time I'll forget so many of these moments. So I thought I'd take a moment to share some stories from life recently. Years from now I'll look back on this post and cry about how big my babies have gotten.

Truman's personality is really developing. He gives the best smooches and challenges everyone to screaming matches. (He is always victorious.) He says daaah-yeee for Daddy and calls me Momba!

He asks to have dance parties and his dancing mostly consists of head banging. Though, tonight he was watching Lucille's dance recital DVD and started trying to do ballet with the 10 year olds in stage. Adorable!

Lennon has been super into our library trips. He is constantly asking me "can we get an interlibrary loan for ____?" (Ps we're so lucky to have such a nice library in town that is also connected to dozens of other libraries that we can also borrow from.)

At the end of the school year Lucille would recap her days on the car ride and Lennon has already mastered his I'm not really listening response. "Wow sissy, I had no idea school was so interesting." "Wow sissy, I had no idea gym class was so interesting."

Our cat has been on a real killing spree in our yard. We've found lots of chipmunks, mice, squirrels and birds. A Fisher lived in our yard during the winter and early spring before our constant trips outside caused him to relocate. He killed a HUGE hare.... I didn't know there were hares near my house. Anyways I thought these bodies would scar my kids. Instead they are very intrigued and have made a list of the dead things they've seen. It's actually incredible. They recognize it's sad and don't delight in death, but are truly interested in seeing the insides of these animals... Definitely a trait they get from their dad.

I should clarify, my kids acknowledge how sad it is for the family of furry dead bodies we find in our yard. Insects are different. Lucille feels no compassion for them. The second she sees an insect she screams for someone to "come die it!" 🤣

My sister in law's favorite Lucille story is when she asked her if she liked SpongeBob and she said no. Then after a moment of contemplation said "Actually I like SpongeBob because him's a cheese and I love cheese."

My favorite recent Lucille memory is her pre-school graduation. Well she was singing songs on stage she locked eyes with Truman most of the program and every time he would clap she clapped along with him. It was so sweet to watch her interacting with her baby brother during a moment of such excitement and so many faces.

Oh and I overheard Lucille say this while her and Lennon played today: "Batman, it's time to come home." "Okay mom!"

2 out of 3 of my hams with their block city.

And ham #3, laughing at himself. 

Happy Birthday Lennon Wallace

My sweet Lennon Wallace, how is it you're 4 years old? These 4 years have gone so fast, yet I can't imagine how I lived my life before you came along.
Lennon, you are the lovingest being I've ever met. Your heart is so tender and pure that it makes my heart break wishing we could all be half as sweet as you.
You're full of energy and wonder. You love to explore but love coming home more. You know exactly what you want, how you want it, where you want it .. and you make it happen with your unmatched persistence.
Your curly hair is as untamed as your spirit. I'll miss these days with you... Singing, dancing, creating. You sing "All You Need Is Love" dozens of times every day as well as a couple rounds of "True Colors" and "Can't Stop the Feeling". You color and draw endlessly, taking such pride in your work. You're an amazingly helpful and proud big brother who gives Truman endless and unconditional love. You're an adoring little brother who hangs on every word Lucille says and wants to play with her every second of the day. Your current stage of life is so fun and precious and I hope to always remember it vividly. But I also look forward to what's to come. I know you'll form amazing friendships in school, get a thrill out of learning and adopt new interests. I can't wait to watch your life unfold.
Thank you, Lennon, for choosing me to he your mom. The love you give me is something no person is truly worthy of, but it has made me a better person as I attempt
to be a deserving recepient and give such transparent love and acceptance back to this world.

Happy Birthday Truman James

Truman, I can't believe you're a year old! It seems like yesterday you were doing acrobatics from within my uterus. I'm so lucky to have had this year with you and I can't wait to see who you become in the years that follow.
At every ultrasound, technicians couldn't believe how much you were moving. It's not surprising to report that you've been the most active and curious of all my babies. (Who I firmly believe have all been more active and curious than the average babe.) You keep us on our toes.
You are so happy and loving. You adore your siblings and want to do everything they do. And usually you do. Yesterday you climbed slides at the playground and climbed their (plastic) rock formation with zero assistance. Never would I have thought an (almost) one year old could do that.
You love new environments. You love to watch people and talk to people... If we're in a crowd and no stranger is fawning over you, you'll yell to get their attention. And then give the biggest smile.
You don't enjoy being alone. At all. You sleep with your head on my chest. But usually you're fighting sleep. There's just too much exploring to do for you to ever willingly fall asleep. But at all times, we'd better be watching you explore and applauding your efforts. That way you can applaud with us because clapping your hands is your favorite.
Truman, you're so spunky and sweet. With your larger than life personality and your silly little gap tooth smile. I'm so glad you chose me to be your mom. You're the perfect final puzzle piece to this crazy, loving family.

Happy Birthday Truman. I love you more than I could ever put into words.

Happy 5th Birthday Lucille Beatrice!!!

I can't believe I'm writing this. 5?? That's not a baby, it's a kid! I've never struggled with a birthday as much as I'm struggling with this one.
Lucille, 5 years ago I finally got to see your beautiful face. I had been waiting my whole life to meet the special little person who would make me a mom. I never imagined that person could be as amazing as you. You've brought me more joy than I can put into words.

After 47 hours of labor I finally met you! By time we got out of the operating room all your aunts, uncles and grandparents were waiting in our recovery room. 

Your first birthday we had everyone over for a dance party!

Your 2nd birthday we went out to eat at the charcoal corral and you played in the arcade for the first time!

Your 3rd birthday we wanted to take you to a local restaurant that has all you can eat pancakes. You woke up sick that day so we spent the day at home where you played with new toys and tried on all the clothes and bathing suits you got. 

Your 4th birthday you wanted to go a toy store. So you took your first (and last) ever trip to Toys R Us and then we went to IHOP where you had cake flavored pancakes. 

This past year you've grown more than I realized was ever possible. I am blown away by all you've learned and all you continue to learn. You've always been inquisitive but lately it's reached a whole new level. When you were 2 and would ask why repeatedly, but now you ask informed questions with follows ups. You pay attention to the answers and bring them up in later conversations. I hope I can foster your love of learning and that you are always eager to keep digging until you find all the answers you seek.
You are so considerate of others. You can easily identify other's feelings and are always eager to try to turn any negative feelings around. You help Truman whenever you get the opportunity. If I am feeling overwhelmed you show tremendous understanding and help guide me back to the peaceful mom I want to be. If a friend is hurt your top priority is to make them feel better.

The night before your 5th birthday after dance class. Per usual, you dressed yourself and looked beautiful.

You're still my little ballerina. You do tap and ballet now, but ballet is where your passion is. Still my social butterfly, making friends wherever you go. In the summer you'll be my cheerleader, which you are so excited for! Everything you do, you do with such energy and optimism and I just love watching you and hearing about all the adventures you have when I'm not around. I could go on and on about all the ways you've brightened my life. But the bottom line is, you are my motivation to he a better person every day I wake up. Because you show so much love and maturity that it let's me know I can. And because you deserve me at my best. You're my role model and my best friend.
Don't forget, you promised me now that you're finally 5 you will stay 5 forever. Oh, how I wish I could hold you to that promise and keep you close. But even if I could it would be selfish. Because I know when you're grown you'll make the world a brighter place.

On your 5th birthday you went to school and I got to join you part of the day. You brought brownies to share with the class and the book Lulu's Party. Later we will go back to the school for family fun night.

Happy birthday Lucille! Thank you for choosing me to be your Mom! I love you with all my heart.

My Naming Philosophy

My old blog got deleted before I got the chance to go in and save the posts I wanted to keep for my kids to read in the future. (I realized the domain was expiring but honestly thought I'd  still be able to log in to see my past posts.) Some were birthday messages I can't recreate, or posts about particularly exciting stages of our lives, vacation recaps, etc. But, there are 3 posts I can recreate. How each child got their name.

Peter and I took naming our children very seriously. A person's name is their identity. Usually, for their entire life. It's often the first thing people know about you; before personality, accomplishments, appearance: your name. And for parents to chose that name for this tiny little human, without knowing who they will become: it's both a great honor and a lot of pressure.
Names have always fascinated me. For that reason I often ask people about their names: why did your parents chose that name? What's your middle name? What does it mean? Do you like your name? From all my prying I've concluded this: people who were given names with meaning are much more likely to enjoy their name.
My theory is: Our kids can never hear their name the way we hear it. It'll be their name. They'll hear it in reference to themselves their whole life. At nauseam. Even their peers won't be able to hear their name the way we do. Every generation lives in such a different world. What sounds fresh to one generation can sound played out to the next. What sounds exotic may sound plain. Or vice versa. So, when people say "they just liked the sound of it" about their parent's name choice, it's often said in a monotone voice, with a shrug, because they can't understand what was so alluring about "Jennifer ".
Our kids will never hear their name, or any other name, the way we hear them. So if you think you've chosen the most beautiful name in the world and you're certain they'll find it just as beautiful: Sorry, you're probably wrong.
A name that is not only beautiful but the name of your grandmother, though. That's something other than sound she can appreciate. A definition that summarizes your hopes for his future.... these sentiments can be so treasured that it overrides the difference in how a name sounds to your ear vs. your child's.
(Fyi I started this post to describe how we chose Lucille's name. About 3 paragraphs ago I realized I was going into a very long tangent and decided to run with it. So check back soon for the posts about my kid's names.)
Since a name is the first gift we give our child, and one that will go with them everywhere, I do think it's wise to try to chose one they will like. Obviously, nothing will guarantee that. However, I think the more thought put into their name, the more you can increase your odds. Plus, there are a lot of ways to give your child a name with meaning, and I think it's fun.
You already have your heart set on a name and you're gutted thinking it won't sound as appealing to your child? Dig a little deeper. Just because you are drawn to the name based on sound doesn't mean you can't build a case of other reasons it's a worthy choice. When I look at names I like to search on behindthename.com. It is loaded with information about the origin of names and famous bearers. Wikipedia and nameberry are good sources too but when pressed with conflicting information I trust behind the name.
Find a namesake or two and learn more about them. I'm sure that learning about inspiring people who wore your favorite name will only increase your fondness for it.  And hopefully, your child will be inspired by them as well.
Optiom 2: Think about what you want your child's name to represent, then search. Whether you want your child to know how long you waited for them, want them to follow their dreams, want their name to represent their Dutch heritage.... Figure out that number 1 item you want to represent and head to Google or one of the sites listed above.
Lastly, you can sit down with your partner and just talk about things important to you. Things that make you happy. Your favorite memories. Your hopes and dreams. Your values. See what names naturally come up. To get the ball rolling, here's some questions you can ask when conversation dries up:

• What is your favorite book, movie, band, song, etc?
• What is the best vacation you ever went on?
• Where do you want to go on vacation someday?
• Who was your favorite teacher?
• What is your favorite season?

Don't forget to also talk about how far you've come in your relationship. Can you find a name inspired by where or when you met, married, the flowers he sent after your first date?

Random picture because what kind of picture do you include in this kind of post?

Now, you have a meaningful name. There is one more thing I feel should be considered. Will the name fit your child? And to answer this you need to accept the fact that despite your interests, priorities, demeanor, etc. you know nothing about your child.
When I was naming children I made a list of 10 males and 10 females. As different as individual people could possibly be. I would picture each of the 10 people and pretend they had the chosen name.  Of course, even the most versatile name will fit some individuals on the list better than others. But I was looking to make sure the name wasn't alarmingly unfitting for any type of person.

So there it is. Naming advice from an obvious expert. Follow it exactly. (Obvious sarcasm. I'm just a nerd.)