If you don't want to read about our particular bathroom issues, but want to see how this might apply to you scroll down to the paragraph that starts with ***
Lucille and Lennon both potty trained right before their third birthday. With Lucille it was pretty much over in a week. Occasional accidents afterward, a few instances where she really constipated herself and didn't want to go... But no big or constant issues.
Lennon is a different story. He seemed to learn right away, then he regressed, got it again back and forth for probably two months. Then, once he seemed toilet trained completely, we realized his poops were suddenly much less frequent. They became less and less frequent and after awhile, when he finally pooped it would usually be in his underwear. Or at least, it would start there.
Pee accidents were rare. On the few occasions they happened, it was when he hadn't pooped in days, so I knew it was a symptom of his constipation.
Here we are, 8 months since he was "potty trained". He still has poop accidents sometimes. Not as frequently. But he poops once or twice a week. And he doesn't poop until he's in serious pain. He will not try until there is so much poop in his system that he can't get comfortable enough to sleep. He cries in the middle of the night and either Peter or I spend an hour in the bathroom with him while he poops out bigger poops than I've ever seen.
It's great that his poop usually comes out in the toilet... I suppose I could consider that progress. But, when it comes out he's in terrible pain. Not just that, (though that would be enough) it's become a source of worry, stress and a scheduling nightmare. I find myself planning our whole family's life around when Lennon pooped last.
I found a book at my library called "It's No Accident" by Steve J. Hodges, who is a pediatric urologist. And it made me look at the whole picture. I try to help Lennon after each poop as if he finally got all the poop out, now we're starting with a clean slate. I need to get him lots of fiber, I need to make sure he's hydrated, I need to give him constant opportunities to potty. I have not been addressing the fact that this is a chronic issue. And that he is never fully emptying his system.
***If you skipped ahead, here is the part where you figure out if this book might apply to issues you're having with your kids. I got this book knowing Lennon was constipated. But a lot of kids are constipated and their parents have no idea. They poop regularly. But they don't get it all out. Kids who are having pee accidents, whether at night or during the day, often have limited bladder space because they have so much poop backed up. They also have trouble controlling their "potty muscles" as their colon is stretched out from holding so much poop. Urinary tract infections are also often a result of constipation. Or frequent, unexplained stomach aches.
About 30% of kids are severely constipated and many parents don't suspect it. And it makes sense. Kids don't want to stop playing long enough to poop. Then the poop gets bigger. Then it hurts. Then they don't want to stop playing OR deal with the pain. Vicious cycle. Add to that most kids aren't getting the proper amount of fiber...
The book had a chart with different kinds of poop so you can identify if your child's daily poops are the ideal poop, or if they're an indication that there is more being held in. Seriously though, a chart of poop! I never thought this is a book I'd have to read. And I certainly never thought I would enjoy the read and recommend it to others.
I did enjoy it. Dr. Hodges wrote very casually with light humor and it was obvious he was extremely knowledgeable. His book made me realize how many parents are baffled by bathroom problems and just blown off and told many kids have such trouble. And though it's true that many kids do, that doesn't make it healthy or mean there's nothing to do about it.
Furthermore, people so rarely talk about toilet trouble with their kids because our society views that as a sign of poor parenting. People brag when their 2 year old is fully potty trained and make excuses when their 4 year old is still struggling. It's assumed that the parents of the 2 year old are superior parents, the parents of the 4 year old are lazy... And of course the 2 year old is viewed as intelligent, but the 4 year old... not so much.
Dr. Hodges outlines a plan to basically cleanse your constipated child and we will be starting that TONIGHT. And of course I'll post an update on how that goes.
In the meantime, if your child is having potty issues, I highly recommend this book. And if you work with small children, I recommend you read this book and share it with any parents that could benefit from it. Hell, if you have a kid not yet potty training, I still recommend this book. Hopefully with this information you can prevent constipation and stop any potty issues as soon as they may start.
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