Our Nighttime Routine

Night time has always been a HUGE struggle around here. Always 2 steps forward and 1 step back when we make progress for a peaceful bedtime. With Lucille in full day pre school, we were forced to kick our efforts up a notch.
I'm not going to pretend bedtime is perfect every night. But we're doing a lot better than we used to, thanks to our below schedule/ check list.

Peter gets home a bit after 4:30 and our wind down and bedtime routine starts shortly after. At 5:00 if any electronics are on, we shut those off. If anyone needs a bath, this is the time we do that... otherwise, it's playtime for an hour while mommy and daddy get dinner ready.
Dinner is at 6 and kicks off our night time check list.  The goal is for everyone to be snuggled into bed between 7 and 7:30.
We've made a checklist with pictures of our family doing all these things. I put it in a protective plastic sleeve so we can check off items as we go along. It works really well for my kids. It helps them to know what to expect next. It also takes the power off us as the parents. We're following the list right along with the kids. No risk for a power struggle if we're not the ones dictating instructions and it comes from a piece of paper (even though we obviously made the paper.) Here are the items on our list.

Dinner: We do an after school snack at 3:30 and the kids usually eat quite a bit then so dinner is actually a pretty small meal for them.
Family Story Time: We used to always do books in bed. But some days it turns into asking for another book, and another, and another... and sometimes even one story would wind the kids up. So, a bigger gap in time between the story and trying to sleep seemed smart.
Clean Up Time: This one is for me. Despite making progress with Lucille and Lennon, Truman doesn't get to sleep until about 9 and then I'm trapped underneath him... So coming down to clean usually isn't an option. And I hate coming down at 6 am to yesterday's mess everywhere. We often use Alexa to listen to music while we clean.
Lotion, Pajamas and Pick Out Tomorrow's Clothes
Brush Teeth and Potty
In Bed

Other than a checklist the biggest advice I can give is to make sure you stay calm. And trust me, there are nights I cannot accomplish this. When they are insisting they're thirsty, need to pee again, aren't tired, heard a noise... on the inside I'm screaming "go to sleep!!!! For fuck's sake, close your freaking eyes, stop talking and just sleep!!!" But showing any form of agitation, annoyance or straight up anger, it'll just wind the kids up more. So, whenever possible, take a deep breaths and calmly just keep encouraging your little one to settle down and rest.
We wake Lucille up at 6:30 to get ready for school. Of course, if she has to be woken that means she hasn't slept enough. So, I always feel good the mornings that she wakes up herself around 6:20 or so. I'd say we have about a 60% success rate. So, an expert I am not. But I've spent LOTS of time trying to perfect this nightly routine, so I thought I'd share our current arrangement.

The Shameful Environment of Social Media

The Internet can be such a great educational tool. We can learn anything we want, so easily, for free. We can expand our horizons and understand the plight of others by just googling it. We can pull any information from the Internet we want to... But we are also having a lot of information pushed at us. And what is being pushed at us is often one sided. These pictures, articles, opinions on our newsfeeds make the viewer feel fear and without realizing it they start judging situations that they have only heard one side of, treating it as the only side.
I think we all know this can be applied to politics. But I'm not going there today. I'm going into parent shaming.
A few months ago it was suspected Truman had craniosynostosis.  The CT scan revealed he did not, but my new pediatrician wanted me to see a specialist so he could confirm the results and let us know if there was anything else to worry about. It seemed likely he would need a helmet. The thought of this originally panicked me almost as much as surgery had. Why?
I have noticed that I see many more babies in helmets now than I saw in my childhood. And I've seen plenty of articles, memes, etc. regarding why. Basically, lists of activities that you should and should not do with your baby, and a warning that not abiding by these rules will result in your child needing a helmet.  I never saw this as offensive,  more of a friendly warning. But then when I was told Truman would likely need a helmet all these social media warnings came rushing to my mind. But I did tummy time! He never used a rock and play, rarely used a swing!I did everything right! That's when I realized, I saw those memes, patted myself on the back for doing everything right and moved on with my day. Other moms saw the same thing, knew they did everything right too, and hung their head in shame knowing that strangers looked at their baby's helmeted head and assumed it was due to negligence.
Just a couple weeks ago I saw a post on a baby led weaning Facebook group. A mom asking if anyone else had a baby with a helmet and if so, how they kept it clean at meal time. I was reading the responses, knowing I may be in this situation soon. (And boy does Truman make a mess!) Then I got to one mother's response and it was something like this:
My child doesn't have a helmet so I don't have advice about that. But, my pediatrician told me that so many kids needs helmets because they spend too much time on their backs. So maybe if you lay him in his tummy more, hold him in your lap... have you tried wearing him instead of laying him down?
I already had this blog post created,  I just didn't want to publish it until I had an update on Truman. And reading that comment on a thread of dozens of mom's with helmet head babies... heartbreaking! I'm sure the person thought they were being helpful and was completely unaware of their ignorance. But I know some moms read that in sorrow and some in rage.
Are some babies in helmets because their parents didn't do enough tummy time? Perhaps. But I'm sure many more need it due to genetics. And I'm sure they are much more common now than 20 years ago because of medical advancements making them more available.
I'm sorry if my one sided knowledge has ever caused me to judge you. I never realized myself judging the parents when I saw a baby in a helmet, but I must have. Because the thought of Truman in a helmet made me feel judged. And now I wonder, what other issues do I subconsciously judge based on lopsided information I've encountered on Facebook?
What parenting issues would you like to set the record straight on?

An update on Truman: we saw a neurosurgeon Tuesday. Truman is completely in the clear in regards to craniosynostosis,  he does not have it nor is there any reason to think sutures in his skull could still fuse too soon. In the past couple months he has been growing into his head and it had been rounding out. Nothing was said at yesterday's appointment about a helmet and since the issue seems to be resolving itself, we didn't inquire. His head will probably always be large, that's just his head... when he gets some hair it probably won't be as noticeable.