We Just Couldn't Wait To Have You

I aim to be grateful for what I have and believe that envy is one of the most poisonous emotions. But on my weaker days I have found myself scrolling social media envious of most family pictures I encounter. Not because of the families, though. It's the damn perfect houses in the background. On days I lack confidence, I feel bad for not being able to give my kids a cleaner, prettier home.
Peter and I bought our house in May 2012, almost 2 years before Lucille was born. It's big! 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and an extra room that could easily be converted into a bedroom. We still plan on turning it into a bedroom. It's not one yet though....
When we bought our house we could have bought a starter home. 2 small bedrooms, but fully updated. No hideous wallpaper or shag green carpet like our house had. Our realtor made us look at starter homes as he thought that would be our best bet. But it was never what we wanted.
We wanted 3 kids and a house big enough to raise them. Big enough for everyone to have their own room.  To stay in our budget though, we knew that would mean a house that needed work.
We figured we'd work on it slowly, 1 room at a time and in 5 or so years it'd be exactly how we wanted it. It's been almost 7 years.... it's not even close to done.
One bathroom is in such rough shape we pretty much just pretend it doesn't exist. Our kitchen floor was coming up so bad that we tore it out and now our kitchen is just sub flooring.
Don't get me wrong, there's nice parts of our house too. Lucille's room, the upstairs bathroom, our living room and what is supposed to be the dining room but is pretty much a play room. Those 4 rooms are exactly how I want them. The others are in worse shape than they were 7 years ago.
And that's okay. Our home projects have been pushed off because we've been too busy raising a family.

Note the panelled walls and subflooring in the background of this and all kitchen pictures.

You kids have taken all our time and all our money.  And I'm so happy for that.
So yes, sometimes I look at Facebook and see a baby eating in a beautiful kitchen and I feel envious. Particularly on days that I've spent trying to clean appliances older than me and get yogurt off of sub flooring. But then I remember why we're living this way. A few more years living in an outdated mess = a few more years with my kids. We could have waited. We could have put our renovations on our to do list before having kids... But how boring would living in the perfect house be without my little loves?
So kids, Every time I'm frustrated by the state of our house, I just look at you. And having you here means so much more. It complicates renovations. Besides a lack of funds, we have 3 more people to work around and relocate. Plus, you offer up suggestions like "I want a rainbow kitchen" in complete seriousness and become heartbroken when your parents don't agree.  But, hey, maybe some of your suggestions will be.... usable.  I'm excited that our whole family is able to work together to perfect our home. But the most important part of our home is already complete: the inhabitants.

Valentine's Day at our Hive

This year the kids were very excited for Valentine's Day. Lucille and I picked out Valentine cards to give her class weeks ago and ever since the kids have been counting down the days.
Lucille picked out a Valentine and a sucker for each of her classmates and her teachers and signed her name to all of them. It was a lot of fun to help with. To include Lennon in the giving I got down materials for him to make his dad a card. He really put his all into it. Colors, stickers, he even used scissors on it.
Before Lucille headed off to school we gave the kids 9 hearts: 3 purple, 3 blue and 3 red. 3 things that make each kid unique and that we love about them. Lucille's were: great dancer, story teller extraordinaire and fashion expert (the last was her favorite). Lennon 's were: phenomenal puzzle skills, excellent veggie cutter and funny man woka woka! (That was his favorite.)  Truman's were food enthusiast, cuddly man and fearless. You wouldn't believe how special these construction paper hearts made them feel. They are now hung on their bedroom doors.

Lucille came home with a bag of goodies and she graciously shared some with Lennon. She clearly had a fantastic celebration at school and I loved hearing all about it. And she made me the world's cutest Valentine!!

When Daddy came home we gave them each a Valentine chocolate: a unicorn for Lucille, a toad for Lennon and an owl for Truman. I was afraid they would want to consume it all in a single sitting but surprisingly, they regulated themselves. They ate about a forth at a time and managed to make their chocolate last a week. (Most of Truman's is still in the cupboard.)
$1 chocolate and construction paper hearts would have been enough to keep my bees happy. But I happened to find a huge Disney coloring book I knew Lennon would love and a sticker book I knew Lucille would love just days before Valentine's day, so this year they got a little extra. Lucille has been off school all week so those activities have helped keep them entertained.
I didn't snap a single picture of the kids on Valentine's day. But I think I managed to keep things low key while making them feel special. So, I definitely consider the day a success!

Let's Talk Shit!

I'm writing this post because most parents don't.  But I know many parents could. It's about our children's bathroom issues.
If you don't want to read about our particular bathroom issues, but want to see how this might apply to you scroll down to the paragraph that starts with ***

Lucille and Lennon both potty trained right before their third birthday. With Lucille it was pretty much over in a week.  Occasional accidents afterward, a few instances where she really constipated herself and didn't want to go... But no big or constant issues.
Lennon is a different story. He seemed to learn right away, then he regressed, got it again back and forth for probably two months. Then, once he seemed toilet trained completely, we realized his poops were suddenly much less frequent. They became less and less frequent and after awhile, when he finally pooped it would usually be in his underwear. Or at least, it would start there.
Pee accidents were rare. On the few occasions they happened, it was when he hadn't pooped in days, so I knew it was a symptom of his constipation.
Here we are, 8 months since he was "potty trained". He still has poop accidents sometimes. Not as frequently. But he poops once or twice a week. And he doesn't poop until he's in serious pain. He will not try until there is so much poop in his system that he can't get comfortable enough to sleep. He cries in the middle of the night and either Peter or I spend an hour in the bathroom with him while he poops out bigger poops than I've ever seen.
It's great that his poop usually comes out in the toilet... I suppose I could consider that progress. But, when it comes out he's in terrible pain. Not just that, (though that would be enough) it's become a source of worry, stress and a scheduling nightmare. I find myself planning our whole family's life around when Lennon pooped last.
I found a book at my library called "It's No Accident" by Steve J. Hodges, who is a pediatric urologist. And it made me look at the whole picture. I try to help Lennon after each poop as if he finally got all the poop out, now we're starting with a clean slate. I need to get him lots of fiber, I need to make sure he's hydrated, I need to give him constant opportunities to potty. I have not been addressing the fact that this is a chronic issue. And that he is never fully emptying his system.
***If you skipped ahead, here is the part where you figure out if this book might apply to issues you're having with your kids. I got this book knowing Lennon was constipated. But a lot of kids are constipated and their parents have no idea. They poop regularly. But they don't get it all out. Kids who are having pee accidents, whether at night or during the day, often have limited bladder space because they have so much poop backed up. They also have trouble controlling their "potty muscles" as their colon is stretched out from holding so much poop. Urinary tract infections are also often a result of constipation. Or frequent, unexplained stomach aches.
About 30% of kids are severely constipated and many parents don't suspect it. And it makes sense. Kids don't want to stop playing long enough to poop. Then the poop gets bigger. Then it hurts. Then they don't want to stop playing OR deal with the pain. Vicious cycle. Add to that most kids aren't getting the proper amount of fiber...
The book had a chart with different kinds of poop so you can identify if your child's daily poops are the ideal poop, or if they're an indication that there is more being held in. Seriously though, a chart of poop! I never thought this is a book I'd have to read. And I certainly never thought I would enjoy the read and recommend it to others.
I did enjoy it. Dr. Hodges wrote very casually with light humor and it was obvious he was extremely knowledgeable. His book made me realize how many parents are baffled by bathroom problems and just blown off and told many kids have such trouble. And though it's true that many kids do, that doesn't make it healthy or mean there's nothing to do about it.
Furthermore, people so rarely talk about toilet trouble with their kids because our society views that as a sign of poor parenting. People brag when their 2 year old is fully potty trained and make excuses when their 4 year old is still struggling. It's assumed that the parents of the 2 year old are superior parents, the parents of the 4 year old are lazy... And of course the 2 year old is viewed as intelligent, but the 4 year old... not so much.
Dr. Hodges outlines a plan to basically cleanse your constipated child and we will be starting that TONIGHT. And of course I'll post an update on how that goes.
In the meantime, if your child is having potty issues, I highly recommend this book. And if you work with small children, I recommend you read this book and share it with any parents that could benefit from it. Hell, if you have a kid not yet potty training, I still recommend this book. Hopefully with this information you can prevent constipation and stop any potty issues as soon as they may start.